One to remember to think about: the power of waiting! Give the horse time to think, let him work it out. Or if the horse overreacts, just stop & wait a minute, smile, say "how interesting".
Often if I ask Lucie to do something she goes in all directions, little feet moving fast; I just wait quietly until she gets over the blonde moment, sees nothing is happening, quietens down and I then ask again.
Sometimes of course you need to match their energy.
There are times when you need to mirror your horse, when he needs you to understand his fears, until he comes off the adrenalin; just stay with him calmly until the signs are he's relaxing and looking for leadership, and is ready and thinking about following your ideas. Then you need to step up and make some suggestions, act like a leader. This might be when introducing him to a new environment for example, when he needs to explore and wants your support not your interference, which will only annoy him or make him more anxious, as will holding him back and telling he should calm down.
There are other times when you need to take control fast and shut down that energy, in a situation of danger for example, when the horse must slow down, pay attention and respect your leadership. Or if he is trying to dominate you. You will know by the horse's reaction when a "slap in the face" from you is appropriate or not. (Have you ever made a totally accidental contact with your stick or rope that brought instant attention from the horse, followed by him giving you two eyes and two ears, maybe a lick and a chew? Did his expression just tell you that he respected you for that? If only we could get it right and have perfect timing every time...)
Then there are times when you just need to go into neutral and wait; wait until the horse stops moving it's feet; wait until he gives you his attention. Sometimes it's going to need a mixture of these responses from you, and it depends on the horse in front of you. Lucie is essentially a right-brain reactive horse and when you ask her to do something she will move her feet, and try to find the answer to what you asked, or to stop you asking it, by moving backwards, forwards, sideways, anyways; then when she has rushed around a bit, and finds she's going nowhere and nobody is chasing her, she starts to think. What I want to do is short-cut that instinct to move and go straight to thinking (left-brain). What I must not do is hassle her or up the phases when she over-reacts. I need to just wait. Smile and wait...
Example of this is where we leave the field and I have to open a gate, the other side of which is some tasty grass; so Miss is in a big hurry, and thinking about the grass and not me and the gate. Sometimes we've got into an argument here. Now we make it a pattern, a repetition. If she anticipates, she is quietly put back in the wait position from which I can leave her to open the gate. I don't keep telling her to wait with my voice, and I don't stand next to her, or hold her there with contact or raised hand signal, I want her to take responsibility for her actions. She is on a long rope and I need to walk around and manipulate the gate. When the gate is open, we stand quietly looking at it and just wait. For as long as it takes for her to stop twitching, looking at the grass, looking cross, shaking her head. I stand quietly in neutral, away from her at the end of the 12' line, and I smile. If she moves forward I raise my body slightly and ask her for a step back. We wait until she relaxes - and thinks. Then we go through the gate and repeat the process the other side. Then I may or may not offer her some grass. Usually I find she's forgotten about the grass and is focused on me, and we walk off happily. Because it's not about the grass...
