We've had a difficult couple of days where our relationship seems to have suffered. Yesterday did nothing, just hung out. This morning she was waiting at the gate - good sign. As soon as I got her out she put her head down to graze, it felt like a test; how is my human going to respond to this; so not wanting a fight and thinking it's sometimes good to let them do something that's their idea, I decided to see what happened.
I sat down on a box and let her graze around me. I relaxed and watched the way she was eating. Fast at first. Not relaxed. If she tried to pull and move away I closed my hand on the rope, then looked at her, then raised my energy a bit, then started to get up, at which point she'd pay attention and turn back towards me, still grazing in a circle. After a couple of times, I only had to close my hand on the rope, then I only had to look up; how interesting! This tells me how much she is aware of me, and how little it takes if I keep quiet and don't get too assertive too quickly.
The second thing I noticed was how she was relaxing, the speed and tempo of eating slowed down, as she realised I wasn't going to ask anything else.
The other interesting thing is that she learned not to step on the rope; that is, she took responsibility for her feet (she was thinking: left brain).
After a few minutes I got up and brought her towards me; bit resistant and ears back but not too bad. A bit pushy but gently corrected and ask that she step back out of my space. Then I moved my box to a new grazing area and started over. I didn't let her eat until I said so, and I used some energy to push her away so she would graze a circle around me. Did this again after another few minutes. Each time bring her in, send her out of my space; move and make her wait then send her away to graze around me. Each time she was softer as she realised what the plan was; then started looking at me, started to get involved; yes!!
As she grazed on the circle I started to direct her gently, aiming at another patch of grass as target; look that way, point, raise my energy, get off my box. While appearing to carry on grazing, she responded, each time with less energy in the ask and less resistance from her: how interesting.
I discovered it's difficult to be aggressive if you're sitting on a small box, so I was able to really control my ask phases and she understood the game - she trained me to stay relaxed and not to get off my box!
So in the end, accepting her idea payed off, as it became my ideas in the end, and we achieved harmony and understanding without a fight. I achieved much more than if I'd ploughed on with what I'd intended to do. Most important it improved our relationship and I caused her to do something by using what she offered.
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