The importance of using retreat

Just been watching a video and one thing that came up was the importance of retreating when your horse is unconfident in a situation. Another point was that if something good (or bad) happens with your horse you need to know why it happened.

So I am thinking about the different reactions I had from Lucie recently in different situations and it starts to make sense. Why was she emotional in the arena? Because I made her go there. What was her reaction? Right brain, unconfident, stressed, emotional. What did I do? Continued in there. What did she do? Stayed stressed. What should I have done? Retreated - come out of there, and reapproached. Just go in there for a minute then out, repeat, reapproach until she shows confidence, in me, in the surroundings. Move to somewhere she is confident. (That is what I did yesterday.) Because she is showing that she is thinking about safety issues. She isn't confident in my ideas so she's not seeing me as a leader. Next day, what did I do? Let her have her idea, graze. What happened? She relaxed, and started to follow my suggestions. Because I retreated, or didn't make her do something she didn't want to do. Result was, that she did more, and it seemed like her idea.

I need to take care of her emotions, and by showing that I am doing so, she will have more trust in me. She has just shown me that I can do this by retreating, and not making her do something when she's not ready. This may sound like "giving in" to the horse but by using retreat I can build confidence. Reverse psychology.

Why was she happy and interested before, when we did some nice liberty stuff in the round pen? Why does it seem she is no longer interested and switches off around obstacles? Because she feels as if I'm making her when she isn't ready. Because right now she isn't confident so she can't learn and doesn't want to play. I'm pushing her when she isn't ready. The more I push, the more we go backwards. I've just learned how slowing things right down has helped our relationship.

What is important to horses? Safety, comfort and play. In that order. If you don't have one, you can't move on to the next. (And food - very important to my miss; part of comfort.)

Interesting that I'm also seeing some extrovert behaviour and reactions, which I quite like. Important now not to squash that but to use it. Let's see what happens today and if I can use this.

More extreme behaviour today

A very interesting morning; so Lucie welcomed me at the field and came towards me, that's quite something for her! Very promising so far. She stands while I open the fence, then I return to her side and lead her out. Once out of the gate however, she starts to get ahead of me, already thinking of eating grass. So I lead her on, throwing in some stops and back steps, until she's listening and respecting. We go towards the area I've fenced off at the top of the field. There are some log piles up there and today these were scary places. I led her quietly through them but she needed to get out of there, so much so that she rushed, threw in a few bucks and body shakes; but she didn't try to pull away. I let her have some room so as not to make her panic but stopped her with some energy in the rope so she turned to me. I remained calm and got her walking through the log piles, then took her for a walk so she could move her feet and de-stress. Halfway along the field another explosion; good to see she can be so athletic with a bad leg, but this is new behaviour and I'm not quite sure where it's come from. I didn't feel it was directed against me though. Somehow I quite like this in the sense that the more extreme her behavior the more calm I feel; this is something I am confident to deal with; where I have trouble is when she looks sweet and then bumps into me, where she is being too subtle for me.

So now I can see the build up to these tantrums and not let her go there; intervene calmly before the explosion. Act like a leader! The behaviour disappeared as we continued our walk. Once I felt her energy come down I made some turns to give her something to think about and got her to touch a few objects on the way and we came back quietly enough, with her by now nicely relaxed and in tune with me and responding to body signals.

We also spent some time in the fenced off area where she was so extreme last week. This time although calmer there was still some tension about certain areas up there. After walking round once, I sat down on a tyre and showed her she could graze. I wanted her to be comfortable in here and around the obstacles, because I seem to have created a resistance to doing things with obstacles, quite the opposite of what I intended. I think I have been too quick with my asking phases, not giving her enough time before insisting, making rather than allowing. I thought it would be fun to do some agility with obstacles, but I haven't been approaching it right for her. Been too direct line. Now I have to backtread and make these obstacles a comfort area before I can expect her to want to play with them. Make it her idea. Remove the pressure she feels and wait until the curiousity reurns. Lack of patience and not reading the horse. So I moved from object to object, not asking for anything except that she maintain a circle at the end of the rope, and not pull on it. I only moved if this happened and was very careful to bring my energy up gradually, so she could stop me by softening herself. Working very well. She appears not to be watching but she responds (subtly!) to the smallest ask, provided I bring my energy up gradually and don't "shout" at her.

Undemanding time pays off

We've had a difficult couple of days where our relationship seems to have suffered. Yesterday did nothing, just hung out. This morning she was waiting at the gate - good sign. As soon as I got her out she put her head down to graze, it felt like a test; how is my human going to respond to this; so not wanting a fight and thinking it's sometimes good to let them do something that's their idea, I decided to see what happened.

I sat down on a box and let her graze around me. I relaxed and watched the way she was eating. Fast at first. Not relaxed. If she tried to pull and move away I closed my hand on the rope, then looked at her, then raised my energy a bit, then started to get up, at which point she'd pay attention and turn back towards me, still grazing in a circle. After a couple of times, I only had to close my hand on the rope, then I only had to look up; how interesting! This tells me how much she is aware of me, and how little it takes if I keep quiet and don't get too assertive too quickly.

The second thing I noticed was how she was relaxing, the speed and tempo of eating slowed down, as she realised I wasn't going to ask anything else.

The other interesting thing is that she learned not to step on the rope; that is, she took responsibility for her feet (she was thinking: left brain).

After a few minutes I got up and brought her towards me; bit resistant and ears back but not too bad. A bit pushy but gently corrected and ask that she step back out of my space. Then I moved my box to a new grazing area and started over. I didn't let her eat until I said so, and I used some energy to push her away so she would graze a circle around me. Did this again after another few minutes. Each time bring her in, send her out of my space; move and make her wait then send her away to graze around me. Each time she was softer as she realised what the plan was; then started looking at me, started to get involved; yes!!

As she grazed on the circle I started to direct her gently, aiming at another patch of grass as target; look that way, point, raise my energy, get off my box. While appearing to carry on grazing, she responded, each time with less energy in the ask and less resistance from her: how interesting.

I discovered it's difficult to be aggressive if you're sitting on a small box, so I was able to really control my ask phases and she understood the game - she trained me to stay relaxed and not to get off my box!

So in the end, accepting her idea payed off, as it became my ideas in the end, and we achieved harmony and understanding without a fight. I achieved much more than if I'd ploughed on with what I'd intended to do. Most important it improved our relationship and I caused her to do something by using what she offered.

Terrible session, going backwards

Just when I thought we were really moving on.... I had a terrible session with Lucie yesterday morning; it ended okay because afterwards we went out for a walk & she was relatively relaxed; but first I went in the field & turned the camera on. I wasn't expecting what happened but you can see the other side of my sweet pretty horse: tense, resisting, arguing, the complete opposite of how she had been recently. It felt worse even than it looks; she was actually biting me; the head shaking she does when she is unhappy. It got worse before getting slightly better, but the memory ran out on the camera. I tried to keep energy medium & stay calm but firm; no way was I going to give her a chance to explode but I felt the tension & the challenge.
There's some video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rmz-J4QFg3k
Sorry about rubbish quality and a dirty horse.

She was compliant but defiant; as if she is unconfident but dominant at the same time.

I feel slightly shaken, I thought we were doing so well. I want to say that this comes out of nowhere but I have had this from her before. This time I think it comes from several days ago when I stopped her from eating grass, I had the camera out & I wanted to film us. Maybe I was a bit strong in my correction. We then just did some walks & turns & I thought I had slowed it right down, was firm but fair, but obviously she didn't see it that way. She just doesn't accept criticism or correction if she wants to do something else, like eat grass; and like many horses, that's a reflex if they feel you are going to ask them to do something they are not sure they want to do. If you don't ask her for anything she is sweet & nice - but then she gets bored.

Lucie photos

A mixed day

Next day however, she took her carrot then bit me, not hard but the message was there; then she turned away, so I turned & walked to the gate & waited; she followed, halfway first, then stopped, then came & stood behind me. I haltered her & took her out the field.
Once out, she became very emotional, I could feel how tense she was, short fast breathing, neck inverted, head up. I took her back to the area where we had trouble yesterday & gave her lots of reassurance, stops & a step back, which she did but not softly. We walked figure 8, I remained calm & firm. She complied but not relaxed; when I turned into her, taking care today to be very calm & clear about my intentions, she turned without contact but her ears would go back. So she was reading my body but not softly, on turns she would trot & shake her head, a sign of (well this is the question: anxiety or anger, unconfidence or dominance?).
She relaxed a bit. We went for a walk, maybe she needed to do something, move her feet.
It is as if she is testing me like a rebellious child to see what my reaction will be. “I will eat grass & see what you do about it & I’m going to get upset if you stop me”.
I think that today she wanted to be with me but was testing my reactions to see if she could trust me today, to see which human had turned up today. I have to try harder to be the right one, but it is so difficult when she pushes me. It does tell me that I over-reacted yesterday.
I feel I’m walking a tightrope all the time. We never move on because as soon as I ask for something she takes it personally & (can’t or won’t?) do it; always challenging me to raise the pressure then not liking it. She will do things but her attitude says it’s under duress & I hate you again.
I do friendly games with obstacles but that’s not interesting; she will sniff, chew then try to stand on the object then eat grass. If I start other games the resistance appears; either grass or ears back I hate you & I’m doing it because you’re making me. Patterns too are boring, so I don’t understand how to make repetition work for us.
Tomorrow I’ll try something completely different like lead by the tail or leg. Maybe round an obstacle once she’s confident with it.

A bad day

Today was interesting, and the first time for a while that anything negative happened. Lucie was happy to come out but immediately showed me she was anxious, she needed to move her feet; so I abandoned the ideas of some videoing & we went out into the lane, her idea; but this had suddenly today become a scary place. The wind was from the south unusually, bringing strange noises from the valley, so maybe this was the problem. I tried to be calm & confident & reassuring; matching her energy & sympathising with her mood while watching for signs she was coming off the adrenalin; not trying to hold her or stop her. We had to go up & down a few times where she got particularly anxious. But with reassurance, and asking for her to follow me & tune into my body language (calm, confident leader) her head came down, she blew, relaxed her jaw & all looked well again. So I thought I’d just turn on the video. Maybe because my attention wandered, or she just saw grass & made a dive for it, but suddenly all the good manners were forgotten & I was just in her way. Hmmm… I backed her up a couple of steps & walked around, but the respect was gone. So we did some more turns & walking until I felt I had her back. I didn’t lose my cool but once or twice I had to defend my space, or counter her barging me by turning across her; she didn’t like it much but I made sure we ended well by doing a couple of things I know she is confident with, and we made our way back to the field. What happened next was interesting: I removed the halter and she stayed with me, usually she walks away. I sat down & she grazed around me. Then she came over & nuzzled me. Wow. So she accepted that I had corrected her in those dominance issues, and it had improved her attitude & our relationship rather than the opposite.